The Dream of Awakening: Finding Wholeness, Freedom, and Joy in Daily Awareness
On the longing for freedom, waking up in daily life, holding our dreams lightly, and living for joy. Plus, some wonderful books, word magic, and more!
“Loss is the tune of our age, hard to miss and hard to bear.… But there has always been singing in dark times — and wonder is needed now more than ever.”
—Robert Macfarlane and Jackie Morris
About a week ago, I had an extraordinary dream. I woke myself up in bed, making a strange screeching sound. I realized I had been dreaming I was a hawk, soaring in the sky and screeching the way they do.
I have no idea what the dream means. Likely, it doesn’t need to “mean” anything other than the remarkable experience of it. Perhaps that experience has something to do with the freedom I long for when I speak about the longing to awaken.
What do I mean by awakening?
More or more people, reportedly, are having experiences of waking up to the truth of who they are, the truth of Reality, which is that we are not separate, individual beings, subject to birth and death, trapped in cycles of ego desires and suffering. Rather, we are part of one great wholeness of Life, One Sovereign Being, dreaming the world. We are Consciousness itself, imaging the play of life as we know it, taking on these limited forms as part of the play.
In our essence, we are utterly free, at peace, in joy. We are Love itself, the fabric of existence. And it is possible to live our everyday lives as that.
Why do I long to awaken?
Because I have been blessed with enough Awareness to know that I am not truly a separate me. This personality, this body-mind that appears to have a name, a history, and various qualities is, in fact, a kind of prison as it is prone to getting triggered unpleasantly by the behavior of others and trapped in states of fear, lack, and judgment.
I know that the Ultimate Reality of what I am is pure freedom, love, peace, and joy. That it is possible to live largely free of suffering, though, thankfully, not free of emotion, including emotions such as grief and anger. But it’s possible to not get caught in those. I also know that the more I live from the state of Awareness, or as close to it as I can get, the more I help others to free themselves from suffering and to live in joy.
How could I not want that?
Even before I became interested in this movement towards Awakening that is happening around the globe, I had always yearned to help myself and others to live from our innate wholeness, freedom, and joy. In fact, I’ve had that very language on my website for as long as I’ve had a website, a long time. And I have studied various modalities and tools to assist with that.
The Catch-22
While many teachers say the longing to awaken is a key element in the likelihood of awakening, it is also true that clinging to the desire to awaken, like clinging to any desire, causes suffering. I experienced this not too long ago and had to shift my approach.
I find I have to hold this dream of awakening lightly. Rather than focusing on some radical moment of Enlightenment, like a lightning bolt, granting me clear seeing and freeing me from all suffering, I choose to focus on gradually becoming more Aware. Daily. As best I can.
And it is imperfect. I fall back into greater occlusion. And move forward into delightful states. And cloud over again. I practice Awareness daily when I remember to. I remind myself to dis-identify with the separate self or at least loosen her illusory hold. I notice when I get triggered and question it. I practice looking out through my eyes as Awareness itself, noticing what Awareness notices. And noticing how Awareness notices everything—with no judgment or commentary.
A Life of Joy
Awakening may or may not call to you as a path, and that is okay. Our particular angle or naming of a thing doesn’t matter. What matters is living with joy, love, and as much peace and inner wellness as we can. That’s what blesses our own lives and others.
Having received a frightening diagnosis gave me the gift of prioritizing living with joy every day, doing what brings me joy and focusing on enjoying the small (and larger) moments of my day as much as possible. This is an excellent recipe for life. My dearest hope is that you don’t need to get sick to discover this and grant yourself permission to live this way.
You also don’t need the outer circumstances of your life to change in any way to live this way. Yes, of course, your outer circumstances make this harder or easier, but the real work is inside. It’s an inside job.
Below, I’ll share with you, in our Weekly Wonders section, an extraordinary book that brings immediate beauty, joy, and wonder. Also, some wonderful word magic I discovered. And my latest creations.
Then, in our Wonder Sparks, I’ll give you a gentle practice to help you cultivate awareness and a sweet practice to foster joy.
These are available for paid subscribers. If you’d like to have access to these, please consider upgrading to a paid subscription. It’s just $7 a month or $70 a year. You can stop at any time. And it supports me and the work I do to bring more beauty, wonder, creativity, play, and freedom to our lives.